WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
