when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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