i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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