woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
