I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
