I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
