How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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