I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
