She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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