I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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