so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
