This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
