Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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