Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize