Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
