Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
