like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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