I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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