Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
