I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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