Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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