toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
