I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
