I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
