Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
