This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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