we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
