oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
