the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
