is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
