Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
