White coat. Heels.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I need to stop coming to work sober
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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