Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk is a universal language darling
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
