took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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