So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
