so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize