I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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