She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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