Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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