The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
