Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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