I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
