I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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