they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
