I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
