UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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