Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
