all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
