Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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