Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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