yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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